I MISS YOU! I wanna go back! I wanna go back in you're lovin arms and spend maybe not the rest of my life there but a considered amount. Right there.. At knutpunkt. With Knutpunkt. With you all. And I can't really seem to shake the feeling of "this is a dream... this ain't real". I guess I'm not a fan of reality.
This week has gone by in a haze, were nothing really seems to be important at all. Cause what is life anyways if I can't wake up and be late for the next larp? What is life if I can't wake up to a smile?
Who where you last week? I've been...
...in a mental institution in "A place for her to rest", revisiting one of my favourite games. Was the victim in the infamous"GR". A communist, believing in Love while desperately fighting for my life in "The Baaden Meinhof Experiment". Cried from 9AM till 1PM while killing myself in "Amanda and the Razorblade". Had a "Super fantastic epic fantasy mega zone larping experience". Throw myself of a building in a "kick start game". Got heartbroken twice in "Heartburn(er)". Was a drug dealer with a blind date complete with tape in "Where our destinies meet". Was close to tears all through "The Journey" and said yes to a very romantic and ever so Christian marriage proposal in "Previous occupants".
Did I forget something? Probably. In between I spent my time lovin' the people around me, dancing heaps (contact improvisation and disco) and of course - Partying! (And time to reveal the secret? Kissing.)
Thank you: To all of those who've directed me, played with me, danced, smiled, cried and loved. Thanks to all of them who attended both a week in and during knutpunkt. To all the beautiful people I got to host during the week and to those I got to find homes for. To all of those who I consider friends even though we just meet this one time per year. You all know who you are. Missin' ya heaps.
And how could I forget, "you're always mockin' me...!" - Me in a heavy mixture of kiwi and British accent. I missed you the second I noticed I could open my mouth and talk without you making fun of me. Sucks heaps.
Question/my own quote of the day:
Hoping for another tomorrow where dreams come true, will you be there waiting for me?
Heart: I had yet another perfect "rebound" last week. A charming and loving person I'm gonna call "New York" cause of his accent. (yes, a he - again, seems to be my thing, for now anyways? Not a clue.) And just like last year its one of the Dane's. Again. Haha. So this person, this NY, I didn't really notice until it was way to late to resist. Ok, his charm was quite out there but not at all my style. I go for tattoos, dreads, piercings, tall and thin, androgynous, woman, way out there style and most of all - Hair. There has to be something special about your hair. But then there was you. And your charm blow me away. (Don't get me wrong, you're real fine. In every meaning of the word. Gosh, wh at ever I write will be an opening for misinterpretation, I do hope you get what I mean. This is meant as a compliment, nothing else.)
It started with one of the most powerful things ever - larping. We we're in a "game" together, where I first had that "wow" feeling, the one that made me interested. "A place for her to rest" in the flatbox, dancing at the end. And NY's arms, the energy of the game. Wow. Bubbles? Yeah. Suppressed bubbles.
Next game was a real challenge, on Wednesday night we attended a jeep form larp together called "GR" which I wont go into at this point but lets just say that it hit the spot in a quite painful way and cause NY said just before that he was a very protective person I curled up into those sweet arms afterwards.
And even though I know we only had last week, that weekend, Knutpunkt and the life there together. I didn't care. You said you wanted to save the world and I said just smiled and knew that you were the kind that I'd love to settle down with one day. Even though I know we wont be, we wont have that future - being worlds apart - you showed me that there was a totally different future if I wanted it. And I didn't even know I actually wanted that, always looked down on people who wanted to settle down. Hmm, one day I might. Until then, thank you and I do hope that we meet up again. As friends, as lovers, as inspiring creative boosters, as larpers. Besides, we've always got New York - cause you promised to show me the city one sweet day (while dancing to "Empire State of Mind").
(And yes, I could fall for you. But I wont let myself. Not this time around. Not if it isn't mutual.)
(And yes, I could fall for you. But I wont let myself. Not this time around. Not if it isn't mutual.)
Youtube of the day complete with a dedication to "New York":
Ps. Still trying hard to get over the one I've lost and who wont be found again. Ds.
6 comments:
" said yes to a very romantic and ever so Christian marriage proposal in "Previous occupants". "
Thanks again for playing with me. I think that's the first time I played domestic abuse; act two playing with you directly almost got even tougher. It's good to play with hardcore people like you.
Wishing we were at KP still! Well, I really agree with that feeling.
Hi there! I'm the Italian guy who cried all of the time through The Journey. That was an extremely painful experience, but I couldn't just quite it simply because of how great the three of you were at your roles. Thank you for the time we spent together, no matter how artificially painful it was!
* oops! "quite it" ==> QUIT it. Sry.
OOOPS! Sorry, wrong person. #°_°#
I guess you also had a "The Journey" run during "A week in Stockholm", right? I played through it a Knutpunkt proper...
Anyway, nice to be bouncing into you in the Blogosphere. How are you?
Hej. Du skriver väldigt vackert. Jag saknar också Knutpunkt. /Maria
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