Nec'ta
Saturday, August 30, 2008

Living in this house, with people everywhere and almost always noises is... so fucking nice! I thought I would hate being around people all he time but the other day I thought about how it would be to live on my own now and shivered at the idea. Maybe its because its such a good place too but I'm loving it. The pics are from the new house.

So how personal are you allowed to be in a blog? What can and can't I fell? I'll never give away real names, that's for sure but how about the hole picture? Love life? Social lollies? Gossip material? Especially since so many I know from back in Sweden don't know the people down here or what's going on in my life under the surface.

Kiwi facts of the day:
These are just a couple of words that have been introduced to my vocabulary since I started hanging out with people down here. But most of the people I know don't speak "pure" kiwi accent.

Mint - when something is really good.
"Wow, that was mint!"

Nec'ta (nectar) - if someone/(something) is really sweet/hot or good looking.
"She was like pue nec'ta."
But I haven't really the pronunciation right on that one yet.

Howned: Eat something really fast.

Its been another good week, great creative flow, good friends, fun nights and my dad txt me the other day! Wow, that was a surprise! But a good one. Lots going on, lots to do but loving it. And you can feel that springtime is coming, my favourite time of the year.

Music: Lars Winnerbäck
Tears of Joy
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Kazai just called, thanks man! Fuck I miss you so much! Just hearing your voice, your laughter and feeling your smile made my day. And it already was a real good one too. Lots of creativity and fun i school. Cute friends and new music. Plus I'm actually doing my homework, yeah I can hardly believe it myself.

We watched Lord of the Rings the other day (all of them and extended!). Man that was a lot of hours but as always so worth it. And in the end, where I always sob, when Frodo leaves middle earth with he elves on the fairy my tears just wouldn't stop. It really got to me, Spickey even got worried and I cried for about an hour. Cause when he gets on that boat he leaves his friends and family just like I left mine. And like I'm gonna do over and over again. Spickey said that I just didn't have to leave then but I do, I need to see the world. Its not something I want to do, I need it. But I still can't shake the feeling that I'm gonna be alone/lonely for a long time and over and over again. Britannia said that its gonna be so weird when I leave. And I guess I already am so attached to the people here that I'll miss them heaps too. Fuck, I really tried not to get close to anyone but I know I would be miserable if I didn't so I guess that I'm fucked either way.

But today, when Kazai called, the tears that had been so bad the other day turned in to joy. I love you so much...

Oh, and this is the Cat I live with. Its her room so to say, she's always here and were way before I got the room. And its all good and cuddly, the only problem is that she loves the cuddles. Preferably always and in the middle of the night. Her whiskers tickle my face and wakes me up, again and again. Gah! Some times it means that she wants to get under the covers again but other times I think its just because she wants attention.
Wireless Injection
Monday, August 25, 2008
You'll never guess where I am! At home! I finally got an internet connection at my house. It was all up and running by the time I got back from Blenheim. A friends 21st Birthday party was held and I've got a cold to take home. But everything else is sweet, or somewhat. Sniffeling, Sneezing and coughing. Been in a daze all day long. Can't think properly and am drinking some horrible mix of garlic, honey, Cayen pepper and lemon. Good think that I can't smell it. It burnes, it burnes! But the party was well worth it! We got to stay in nursery at some friends house afterwards which creped me out so bad. Drunk as hell I went in to the room and found myself in kiddie land. could all over the walls and from the ceiling a mobile full of clown's. Yay me?

Feeling the wireless running through my veins is fantastic. Just so you know.

Spring is coming soon, or it feels like that somehow. Everything is fuzzy, cute and bubbely. Against my will. Things are as usual in other words.

Music: Antony - Blue Angel
Fucking awesome day!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Creativity is all around me, been so inspired over the last couple of days and am enjoying myself with my friends down here. Its been a while ago sense I actually smiled from the bottom of my heart but both yesterday and today I am, I am! The sun is shining and tomorrow is the finishing for out Symposium week. We have been doing a theme week on what happens behind the scene in films. "What is Batman doing when he is not fighting some crime?" But without the Batman par, we've got some really wired old Italic film. And trying to incorporate the lecture that we had on Monday called "Reality Check" which was all about what you define as real and not, The Simulacra. Very cool stuff thought up by pretty dray and old guys back in the day =).

Sending smiles and hugs to the one whom might claim them.
Music: Killing Heidi
Cutting it close
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
To close to Home, to close for comfort? The other week the closest friend I've got down here said that I didn't have that much of an personality. Of course I was offended but didn't, just like me, show it just then. Yesterday I found out that he meant that I'm not showing him it, that I'm hiding stuff from him. Whish is perfectly true. I'm not to keen on letting my past mistakes or life be a part of my new life. If you can even fraise it in that way. So yeah, I'm not talking about certain stuff but is that really bad? Isn't it the way to let bygones be bygones? Which walls are ok to still have up, which ones do I have to knock down to keep the friendship going? What defines a person, what makes me me ? Everything came and comes up. And even though we are all ok now, talked about it and are friends again I can't stop thinking about how close to you inner being you have to let someone in to make them feel close, to make them feel like you have a personality and be their friend.

On the paper side of the reality, these are the current events. I went ahead and talked to the international department today, cause the guy who was suppose to hadn't, and found out that full time is 4 courses. So I'm a full time student now. Hopefully I can explain it all to CSN. But there were some other costs that were floating around and hadn't been paid. I've really been trying to hunt the right persons down over the last 6 months to get all the fees on one sheet of paper and work out a budget but no one knows them all. And today I found out more, yay me. Oh, by the way! I nearly forgot but on one piece of paper it says that I finish school somewhere in late December, which I wrote on my application, but I found out that its in the end of November! Gah! So the struggle of trying to work out what I should be able to spend every week is rather difficult. And its weekly based here not monthly which for me is way harder.

I've been putting of working cause I didn't know if I could on a student visa or if I had the time but with no idea about my budget and so on I'm keen to find one now. And today I got the mail form the Embassy, No I'm not allowed to work! WTF?! I've been talking to them before and I have to work to save up money for the summer, how the hell would I be able to live otherwise?

Yesterdays bad idea: Watshing "Dawn of the Dead" and sleeping alone.
Music: Bjork
Swimmers paradise?
Friday, August 15, 2008
No but it was lots of fun! We went to the swimming pool and I couldn't help thinking that it had only been about 2 months sense I was in Smaland at my mums swimming in 'her' lake. And now it's winter all over again. All the same we spent three hours there playing in the water. And when I got home, feed, wet and tired there was a huge parcel waiting for me in my room. Mummy! My stuff from Sweden, all the love and thanks mum! Especially for the warm clothes. =)

The courses seam to sort themselves out, hopefully. But I still have to deal with CSN. I'm so sick of the paperwork!

I got my very own studio space today, it's small or rather it's a desk but it's all mine and I'm now at level 5! (The level system over here is so wired but nobody really seams to get it.)

Music: A Perfekt Circle
More 3D, more money?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I finally got the guts to walk up to the head of art school and explain to her that I wanted more out of this year then they had provided, I need more 3D. That was yesterday, this morning I showed my previous work to the program leader and got in! Yeah! But don't get to excited to soon, it will cost you. See the problem is that I was only in rolled in 3 classes, which I thought was sort of strange form the beginning (I need full time which means 4 classes but they said that 3 would do it for me too). I paid for a full time education, which should mean 4 courses and I'm now suppose to take them all. I've of course missed some weeks but I can catch up if everything works out fine.

So this is the problem, if I don't take 4 courses this year I can't go on to study here at NMIT at a higher level course I will have to take to many next year, it will not be full time by the standards of the school. I'm not sure that I will stay on here in Nelson but I want to have the chose later on instead of now. CSN (student loans in Sweden) might not want to pay even more money for me to attend school here if they think that 3 courses are full time but the thing that makes me wonder is that I actually paid for the hole term, all courses. But if I'm not getting more money then I can't go on studying the next 6 months here and I will drop one of the courses. But I still get to do two hole days of object studio. One on level 4 and one on level 5, I only need the level 5 one but I really feel the need to do more 3D at whatever level they might provide it. I'm dropping drawing&design and adding Digital media level 5. I'm still in Audio/Video even though the course suckes I want to get to know the media.

So that's the news on school. Personally I've been quite down over the last week. It's hard without anyone to really talk to, how actually gets what I'm saying. The more I get to know these people the more I realize that I haven't got that much in common with them. They're not interested in politics, the environment, art, larp, improve or adventures. Mostly music, films and partying. Thats fun too but I would just love to have a real conversation with someone about a meta techniques, how to do more for the environment (I really have to defend my being a veggie here, they can't get it through there thick sculls that you can actually live very healthy without meat) or just how to handle a new relationship. Ok, I knew that the relationship anarchy would be a problem for them. That I would be alone in that sense. At the moment I'm trying to find and get to know the queer community down here, they might be more open minded.

Music: Bjork - Cover me
One Month
Saturday, August 09, 2008
It's now been one month sense I left Sweden and moved to the other side of the world. It still feels strange waking up here, getting to school. Nothing is real, it feels like I'm constantly in a "daze". One hole month sense I got to hug you all. The library is closing now but I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive, well and (somewhat) hung over - again.

Todays music: the market here in Nelson, the birds, sun and people.
Major in Object
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Yes, please! But that wont happened this year, gah! I really badly want to. Today I finally realized why I haven't been motivated for school over here jet but feel fine on Thursdays (mostly anyways). We have object studio all day and I love it. Although I already have done most of the stuff that we are doing now there are some new things or at least a look back on what I did last year. Somewhat irritating but probably good too. I wonder if I can major in it this year, think not but will have to talk to them. But I guess I should still do the stuff that I'm not that in to and learn it better but some days it feels like being back in collage (gymnasiet) where you had to do everything again and not just the stuff that you actually want to work with (or I have no Idea what I'll be working with when I grow up, hopefully I just wont grow up). What to do, what to do? Is it allowed to just study what you want, do what you like?

Apparently partying here is totally different from back in Sweden or how we did it anyways, you do not (!) make out or flirt if you don't mean anything by it. Remember that. Note to self: You don't want to get a big sign on you that says "slut!".

Music of the day: Max Serpentini - Everywhere
The Internets
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
No internet jet at my new place and probably not for another week. Gah! It's not only that it's hard to keep in touch with everyone it makes it difficult to study. I'm at the library every day but the internet here sucks. And I can't download or upload anything. So that's my whining for today.

Music: Bjork - Dull flame of Desire
Tequila on a Sunday night
Monday, August 04, 2008
This weekend was all about the partying.

Note to self: Tequila is always a bad idea, especially on a Sunday!

There was a party in Stoke on Saturday which is a place a bit outside of Nelson but I think it's still a part of it. Either way, it was a really cool house on top of a hill with a view over the hole town. Small little lights everywhere. The only problem with going to parties down here is that there doesn't seam to be anyone in my own age having a good time. On Saturday they where barely 18, cute, fun and all of that but tiny! Last night they might have been a bit older but not much. The advantage is that nobody takes me for 25, the lowest guess I've gotten is 19! Fuck, 19? Do I really look that young? I get ID 'd everywhere but I guess I should take it as a compliment.

Last night was a trip back in time for me, a Goth theme party! Yay! They all seam to be nerds which in this case was the best thing that could have happened, some of them actually know what a Larp is or free form role playing games. I might just be able to find some people to terrorize down here after all. Desperately need to do some impro. I'm so happy that I found the contact impro dance class. We even had live music to Saturdays jam session!

But the weekend was great fun even if I got a huge hangover today. And yes I am in school, don't know how much I'm actually doing today but I'm here at least. The ideal hangover day for me will always be watching Desperate Housewives with Kazai, eating taco and falling asleep which basically means that he has to explain what happened when it's over. So where are you hun?

The Cat kept me company and helped me through the worst part of the night, she's just so sweet! I'm still very much in love with my new place and am getting settled in. But there are a couple of things I'd never thought I miss. (besides form all the obvious stuff like friends, family and of course Stockholm.)

1. Bread. Real bread, dark, rich, the kind that will make you full and happy.
2. The language. Speaking both German and Swedish, my tongue is going nuts with all the English.
3. The subway, here we don't even need busses. It truly is a small place.

Music: Nine Inch Nails - Right where it belongs
Artists of the Day: Erwin Wurm , Banksy
Google them for more cool stuff.
Wine and Singstar
Friday, August 01, 2008
That was basically the them of last night, friends singing and drinking wine. And we were pretty loud but when I talked to the landlady today she hadn't heard a thing, all the people living there are almost deaf which has it's advantages but can be frustrating in the long run with the music they put on, cause it's really loud to. But what the hell, I love it there any ways! And I think it is more of a Buddha inspired house then a Hippie one now that I get to know it better.

Hopefully I'll get an internet connection later this week too. I can't believe how addicted you get but I guess that I've always been that way.

Note to self: The best way to cheat at singstar is not to try to actually sing the words if you don't know the song, just hum the sort of right tone.
NZ fact of the day: A bottle of fairly cheap wine costs about $8 (8x4,5=36kr)