isobelll - with 3 l

No, not at all. A lot has happened. To much to talk about, I've been out on the road again and am now in Stockholm living on a friends couch. Don't know how long I'm gonna stay here or what I'm gonna do. Got a job but don't know when they're gonna call and say "please work now". Got things to do but no fucking energy. I really just wanna sleep, crawl into my little cocoon and let the world go on without me for a little while.

And I've found a new addiction - The Sims 3. Horrible. Makes me sit for hours and look at other people having commitment issuers, huge houses and lots of trouble - which is not my own. Ok, I might need to confess something, I'm in some sort of "what the hell am I doing-crisis". I've got no clue. I just know that certain things aren't what I want them to be and others are more or less a good idea on paper but in practice? Well, I don't know. Making no sense? Welcome ot my world.

I've confronted my "spring trouble" crushes, like the one on The Cute Danish Guy who's name is Charles and noticed that he's really cute and all and I'd love to stay friends with him but the bubbles are gone. Which is great! I've got another one of my sweet boxes of memories after leaving Denmark - or in fact - I like the box better when it was just from Norway. Or do I? I don't know. It was good that I confronted myself and took the challenge of actually going to Denmark and finding out. Good on ya mate! And I had a good time too besides the thing of "I'm a guy and get cold after sex". Gah! Seriously?! I don't want anything esle, but talk to me?

So the second one? Well, as I came back to Stockholm I meet him at a party - his party. Which was really nice, we had a good time and all. But was it a good idea? Well, in the end. Maybe not. I don't know yet. And yes, if you're reading this and am as confused as I am then its all in right order. I don't know either. Don't worry. I just know that being intimate with a heterosexual man might not be the right way to go for me, which I've known for a while but sort of forget from time to time. Hmm, I'm not making any sense am I? Ah, fuck it!

Song of the day: Bush - Machinehead


ps. if you were wondering - yes, it is my time of the month and the world sucks.