isobelll - with 3 l

Decided yet? I asked myself again as I walked home from the house squatting in Rinkeby where I've helped out last night. As the date creeps closer I'm drawing a total blank. Feels like its just gonna turn sour no matter what I do. Until I made up a little Top Secret plan just for me. Thanks to the glory of Internet and a few friends (?) its gonna be a sweet as day (don't jinks it!!), with no one knowing why. My Top Secret B-Day. Where nothing can go wrong cause --> no expectations - no regrets.

The thirteen year old girl inside my head is smiling and finally at ease while the sour goth realist says
- "watch out, don't get your hopes up. You'll end up having a shit ass day anyways, just wait and see dear darling. Wait and see... Besides, if its that important to you that no one finds out, why the hell post this on your blog? That you're wanting to keep it a secret? And whats with that anyways? Wanna feel special?"

And at the tender age of 13 she replies somewhat hurt:
- "... na, not special. That's just the point. Nothing special from someone else, nothing at all. If I'm not up to it then no expectations and I can just pretend that there's nothing going on. And its not special anyways, just a day like everyone else in a year. Heck, I'm not celebrating Christmas or well, ok New Years but... Gosh. Just no... Sorry for the accidental opening of my mouth and thoughts."

Goth Realist:
- "Your excused, for now. Ha, just wait and see... You'll know I'm right in the end anyhow."



Soundtrack:
Stay Ali (thanks to Electro Boy for shouting out that they had a gig in Stockholm coming up! Yay!)

Note to self: 
It might not be one of your brightest ideas to put the weird conversations in your head on public display.