isobelll - with 3 l

My B-day is coming up this month and I always feel rather uncomfortable at this time of year. I hate wintertime in Sweden and even though I was right in the starts of summer last year I really didn't wanna celebrate anyways. I kept my birthday a secret and went camping with the Nelson gang, who found out on Facebook (grr) but we had a sweet beach party and I spent a lot of the night listening to the ocean while looking up on the stars, feeling the sand between my

toes.

Picture: Tataranoi Beach where we went camping and me after a sweet dip in the ocean.

So what about this year? I was suppose to go to Gotland to meet up with the summer flat gang and have a double b-day party but now I don't know any more. Might not have the time, money or company. Don't know if Zhe will be able to join us either. And then there is this huge issue of the actual celebrating. I think its the same yukiee feeling I get at the back of my throat when I get a sweet honest compliment from a loved one, I really just can't handle it. Ha, might be that teenie Goth girl still trapped inside or the Swedish "jantelagen" which is a saying that you should never try to be special or something more then anyone else. I don't know. It just creeps the hell out of me. Ah, then there are the heaps of spoiled B-Days of course. Gosh, how could I've forgotten them. That might just be it. So the question of the day (directed at myself I guess) is should I go public or hide?

Soundtrack: Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage