To close to Home, to close for comfort? The other week the closest friend I've got down here said that I didn't have that much of an personality. Of course I was offended but didn't, just like me, show it just then. Yesterday I found out that he meant that I'm not showing him it, that I'm hiding stuff from him. Whish is perfectly true. I'm not to keen on letting my past mistakes or life be a part of my new life. If you can even fraise it in that way. So yeah, I'm not talking about certain stuff but is that really bad? Isn't it the way to let bygones be bygones? Which walls are ok to still have up, which ones do I have to knock down to keep the friendship going? What defines a person, what makes me me ? Everything came and comes up. And even though we are all ok now, talked about it and are friends again I can't stop thinking about how close to you inner being you have to let someone in to make them feel close, to make them feel like you have a personality and be their friend.
On the paper side of the reality, these are the current events. I went ahead and talked to the international department today, cause the guy who was suppose to hadn't, and found out that full time is 4 courses. So I'm a full time student now. Hopefully I can explain it all to CSN. But there were some other costs that were floating around and hadn't been paid. I've really been trying to hunt the right persons down over the last 6 months to get all the fees on one sheet of paper and work out a budget but no one knows them all. And today I found out more, yay me. Oh, by the way! I nearly forgot but on one piece of paper it says that I finish school somewhere in late December, which I wrote on my application, but I found out that its in the end of November! Gah! So the struggle of trying to work out what I should be able to spend every week is rather difficult. And its weekly based here not monthly which for me is way harder.
I've been putting of working cause I didn't know if I could on a student visa or if I had the time but with no idea about my budget and so on I'm keen to find one now. And today I got the mail form the Embassy, No I'm not allowed to work! WTF?! I've been talking to them before and I have to work to save up money for the summer, how the hell would I be able to live otherwise?
Yesterdays bad idea: Watshing "Dawn of the Dead" and sleeping alone.
Music: Bjork
This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 and is filed under
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5 comments:
tja frida! va kul att läsa om hur det är där down under! jag har också skaffat blogg nu, mest bildblogg, på vegaart.blogspot.com
mer bilder i din blogg!!
Hehj, kul att du har en oxa! Ska forsoka kolla in den, lanka min sa lankar jag din =). Lagger upp mer bilder pa min sa fort som internet tillater det...
I think the whole notion of describing someone who doesn't flash or flaunt their whole past as having "no personality" is flawed and wrong.
The way I see it, a personality is somewhat of a "modus operandi", that is, how someone operates, functions, acts, feels or perceivs - all taken together into an assumption about how someone "is" and presumably "will be". If you agree with this, everyone has a personality - quirky, dendent, irrational, evil, considerate, colorful or any other simplification of a human being you can come up with. (I'm against the very idea of "personality" for various reasons, but that is beside that point.)
Saying that someone "lacks personality" does not only sound like a cheap line from Beverly Hills 90210, it also borders on degrading and coercing people who, for various reasons, still are in the closet (be it sexuality, past experiences, political etc) or just liking to keep on their side for a while. Also, it's even cheaper to hand that over to someone who isn't already part of the common local culture. Such a person will always need to explain theirselves.
So, using the "you lack personality" to covertly say "gimme more juicy details or else I'll put my attention elsewhere", doesn't very fair to me.
Leo said it very, very well.
I might have been a bit harsh. Expressions like these can have different meanings in different contexts. I see that I might be a bit literal about it.
Anyhow, people should be able to tell anything or everything... if it's someone you trust, trust should go even there.
But now we're getting into a very general discussion that possibly are way out of context. Over and out and play nice, everyone. :)