It seems weird that I can't write, read or talk about the stuff that is most important to me. I run away from art. Don't wanna hit the galleries. Don't dare to produce. Can't talk about it and so on. It makes my skin crawl. Guess I'm scared of failing. Same thing happens when travelling comes up in conversation, or at least when people wanna go into a real conversation about it. When I wanna check out where I might head towards next time. I love larping but don't wanna think about it, can't handle making a larp or preparing. I guess I'm scared of failing.
And then there's the environment, the most important of them all. My biggest interest and the one "thing" that combines it all - Travel/Art/Larp. I'm constantly fighting (what can only be discribed as this huge war?) - to change the world. To get people to listen, stop violating the planet. Nature. Gosh, I even got it permanently fuckin' inked on my whole back - the HUGE tree. (If you haven't seen it yet, here's the link).
So why is it so hard to write about it? I feel like there should be heaps of blog posts that talk about veganism, animal abuse and COP15 right here on my little page/mind. But no. Why?
I haven't really figured out the art/travel/larp part but maybe this whole issue with the environment related stuff (heck, I don't even wanna read the news!) is, I guess, cause of a constant bad consciousness. That we, correction, that I should be able to do more. I get so consumed with all the shit that's going down that I can't handle my own chaos. I get involved, hurt and cry when I see what you, yes, you are doing to this world. So I close my eyes. I pull the covers over my head. I pretend that every things alright. I get that thing that is commonly known as "world consciousness" (världssamvete in Swedish) among activists, when I make all the issues in the world my own fault, my own responsibility. Even though I try hard to listen to the "words of wisdom" I keep on preaching to all of you; "If everyone would just take one little step we would be able to save the world".
COP15 is coming on, its already in session and this weekend I'm gonna join forces and demonstrate in Copenhagen at the climate meeting for a better environment. No, for the planet and its future. This time its not only the little pissed of angry girl that everyone sees when I talk about animal abuse, its real you guys. For fuck's sake... You can't keep ignoring this. If we wanna keep on having a future at all this is the time to change. Before its to late.
I can feel the rage pumping through my veins. Like I'm screaming at the top of my lung inside the parliament but all the men in nice suits keep on starring at the numbers in front of them. They all seem, you fuckin' all seem, to believe that the one who has the most/nicest stuff when we die wins. Well, I'll tell ya - that's not the way it works. Ok. Not everyone around me but way to many and gosh, just a fuckin' lot of people out there.
Its finally come to everyone's mind that yes, the environment is of some importance but hey - why should I, little me, do something different in my everyday life when no one else is? Cause you bloody well have to!! Breath. Come on, Breath. Cause tomorrow it might be to late. Seriously, is it so much to ask that you'd be a vegetarian every Monday (for example) if you can't handle living without meat? To much to ask that you turn off the light, kill the stand by stuff or commute instead of taking the car?
I don't even wanna begin talking about the facts n' numbers, I'm closing my eyes. You should know by now that meat, power and cars are doing to the environment. And if you don't... Nah, I'm to pissed of, to upset, to help you. Today. So let me crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my head and pretend - just for one minute - that we're all taking one step for a better future. Cause I'll tell ya, its not the men in suits that are gonna "save the planet". Its you and me, with our everyday choices. Talking into thin air, am I? You decide.
Soundtrack: Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
Person of the day: My mum. You made this possible, going to Copenhagen. For teaching me to respect nature. + once more - Welcome to our beautiful family of veggies!
Youtube of the day: Please help the world - COP15 opening film (Even though I've seen better once I must say)
0 comments: